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29 Dec 98

Transforming Grace

Discussion Guide, Chapter 8d: Appropriating God’s Grace (Ministry of Others)

Central Idea: God’s grace is applied to our lives and made real in our experience through prayer, the Bible, submission to His sovereignty, and the ministry of other believers.

Warm-Up Question:

Describe a time when you were in great need, and all you could do was go to a friend and share your burdens. Did God give you His grace through that person?

Appropriating God’s Grace through the Ministry of Others

• Why do you think it’s difficult to ask for help from other people when we are in a time of need? In other words, what are some barriers that prevent us from seeking help?
• Pride/Denial (I don’t want to admit to myself or others that I have a problem.)
• Control (I don’t want to lose control of the situation by opening up to somebody else.)
• Lack of Trust (I can’t trust anyone with my deepest needs.)
• Fear (I’m afraid to reveal my weaknesses because I might be exploited.)
• Frustration from bad experiences (I don’t want to receive a sermon. I just want somebody to listen.)
• False sense of security (I’m OK. I can handle it on my own.)
• Inconvenience (I don’t want to ‘burden’ other people with my problems.)

• What are some ways we can be more open to receive grace from others?
• Be humble enough to admit we have a problem and let people know about it.
• Be secure enough in Christ to be able to be vulnerable and open.
• Don’t let bad past experiences ruin our search for grace from others.
• Don’t have such high expectations for people we can confide in—You’ll never find that "perfect" friend.
• Remember that sometimes it’s hard word finding a good friend.
• Let people know that they have "permission" to minister to us. We have to be active in communicating our need for ministry.
• Ask people for advice in situations, even if we already think we know the right course of action. This communicates to the other person that their opinion is valued.

• What are some ways we can be more giving of grace to others?
• Demonstrate that you care about them.
• Let them know that you are available for them.
• Listen attentively, and remember what they say!
• Be aware of subtle signals of emotional pain or troubles.
• Be gentle and nurturing.
• Be private and trustworthy. Don’t be a loudmouth.
• Don’t be pushy, preachy, or patronizing. Come along side of the person.
• Don’t have a judging spirit when interacting.
• Don’t feel like you have to be the hero and that you must "save" that person from their distress.
• As a listener, don’t be "solution-oriented." Be "relationship-oriented."

• What do we do about people who require "extra grace?"
• These are people who, in our eyes:
• Whine and complain a lot about their troubles and distresses
• Are constantly distressed over "stupid" or "insignificant" things
• Constantly reject your counsel, but keep coming back for more
• Are usually very insecure about themselves
• Etc…
• In situations where we feel that the other person is taking advantage of us, we must remember that it’s God’s job to avenge and to make things right. It’s our duty to have unconditional love. We must do our part, and let God deal with their lack of appreciation. We are called to live a life of imbalance and injustice (Rom 15:1-3).
• To address their insecurities, we can build them up by pointing out strengths in their characters and identifying their potential
• Sometimes, "tough love" is the answer. But be very cautious with this.
• Make sure the person is clear on why you are administering "tough love."
• Don’t reject the person. Only reject their sinful behavior/attitudes.
• "Tough love" should only be for a season, and you should clearly communicate your expectations and the other person’s "exit requirements."
• Perhaps more than anything else, these people need prayer.

• So far, we’ve talked about ways we can either seek grace from others, or give grace to others. What are some things that we can actually do to minister to each other?
• Pray for each other
• Help each other understand and apply Scriptures to each other’s lives
• Help each other submit to God’s sovereign hand in each other’s current circumstances

• Read 1 Cor 12:12-27. The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free--and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
• Why do you think Paul likens the Church of Christ to a physical body, and each of its members to body parts?
• Unity (vs. 12). A body is a single unit with a specific identity, but is made up of many diverse parts. The church is a single unit with a specific identity: Christ, but is made up of many parts: Christians.
• Belonging (vs. 16-17). All the body parts belong to the body. The body "owns" the body parts. All Christians belong to the body of Christ, the Church.
• Functionality (vs 16-18). All the body parts perform individual functions (seeing, hearing, smelling), but have a higher purpose of serving the body with its desires and activities. Christians all have different functions (music, encouragement, hospitality, mercy) and all contribute their array of gifts, abilities and talents for the higher purposes of Christ in the Church.
• Self-Preservation (vs 21-26). This goes two ways. We take care of our body and its many parts by cleaning them, bandaging them, and protecting them because we care for ourselves. In the same way, Jesus cares for and nurtures His children through the church. Also, the body has the amazing ability to heal itself. When we get cut, white blood cells rush to the job to protect us from harmful germs. Our blood caries vital nutrients to all the parts of our bodies. Our hands tend to the parts that are under stress or trauma. In the same way, Christians uphold each other, rushing to meet each others needs when we encounter stress or trauma. Each part needs each of the other parts. 2 Cor 8:14. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need.
• If we Christians fail to maintain this bond of unity, what does this say about our faith? It certainly casts a shadow on our belief in Jesus because Paul says that each one of us is a part of the Body of Christ, and if we fail to be and do our part, we have, at a minimum a cloudy understanding of who Christ is and what He is doing.
• If we Christians fail to maintain this bond of unity, how does this affect our witness to the non-Christian? If the Church truly is the vessel through which the Body of Christ can be seen, then if Christians weaken their God-given unity, Christ will appear fragmented, small, and meaningless to the non-Christian.
• (Optional) In what ways do you think the American culture of individuality and independence has weakened the church?

• Eccl 4:9-12. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
• Why is there greater strength in greater numbers?
• We keep each other in check. We "sharpen" each other with our complementary strengths. We can keep each other accountable. I should live my life in such a way that I’m representing the nearness of God to the other person.
• When we get ourselves in a bind, our friends can rescue us.
• We can stand back-to-back in spiritual warfare, covering up each other’s weaknesses and only displaying the strengths of each other.
• Why is Christian friendship likened to a "cord of three strands?" A cord of three strands is not just three individual strands that are brought close to each other. A cord consists of multiple fibers that are interwoven in order to distribute the workload more evenly. Each strand’s weaknesses are compensated for by the strength of the other strands at every point. Instead of a strength additive, it’s actually a strength multiplier.

• Rom 15:1-7. We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
• What reason, or basis, are we given for being able to endure the failings of the weak and to accept one another, failings and all?
• Christ bore the ultimate injustice for our sakes. We should be able to humbly endure the difficulties of bearing each others’ burdens (vs. 1-3).
• Christ accepted us while we were dead in our trespasses, in order to give God the praise. In the same way, we bring God praise when we accept our neighbors as if we were accepting ourselves (vs. 7).
• How do the Scriptures play a role in our ministering to each other?
• The Scriptures give us endurance and encouragement.
• God gives us endurance and encouragement.
• It’s safe to say that God gives us endurance and encouragement through Scriptures, which bring about hope and Christian unity.
• In context, it’s apparent that one of the ways we become more unified is to minister to one another through the Scriptures.

• Mk 2:1-5, 11-12. A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2 So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven…." 11 "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 12 He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
• What does this passage imply about caring for each other in the body of Christ?
• The four men who carried the paralytic could have:
• Ignored him, thinking that there will be others that come along to care for him
• Ignored him because the burden of carrying a paralytic is just too great
• Carried him a little while, then given up.
• Seen that
• Why did Jesus forgive the paralytic? The passage seems to indicate that when He saw their faith, meaning either the four men, or all five of them, he forgave the paralytic and healed him. This means that there is a mysterious relationship between our compassion and diligence to minister to those in need and Jesus actually meeting their needs.
• What are some ways we can carry each other to Jesus?
• Prayer: Individually, corporately, silently, out loud
• Scriptures: Reading, studying, interpreting, applying

• Read Ps 142. I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. 2 I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. 3 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. 4 Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. 5 I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." 6 Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. 7 Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.
• How can we apply this Scripture to our desire to minister to each other? One way is to make it our ambition to never have a person in our midst who has to say that "no one is concerned for me…. No one cares for my life."
• Is it always bad to be alone, without friends to support us? Not necessarily. God meets us where we are. If our friends abandon us, He accounts for that and accommodates Himself to meet us in our time of loneliness. But Scriptures are clear that "two are better than one."

• We need to build up our support network:
• "Bosom friend"—that one person who we confide in and pray with. You and this person need to be on a level of understanding in which you can ask each other the "tough questions."
• Accountability/prayer group—a group of three to five in which you share sins, pray for each other, exhort, and encourage one another.
• Strong base of fellowship—a large group of general friends that we "pick from" to minister to and to confide in.
• Church attendance—strong, healthy intake of the Word with the corporate body of believers. None of this "John Wayne Christianity" where we just "take care of ourselves."
• We need to pray that God would:
• Send these people into our lives
• Give us humble, exhortable, and rebukable hearts
• Help us develop our interpersonal relationship skills

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This page was last edited on 19 Dec 1999.